Caesar: tell Antony NO, and Cleopatra NO unless she kicks him out or kills him (3.12.16-25) #BurningBarge #SlowShakespeare

AMBASSADOR           Next, Cleopatra does confess thy greatness,

Submits her to thy might, and of thee craves

The circle of the Ptolemies for her heirs,

Now hazarded to thy grace.

CAESAR                      For Antony,

I have no ears to his request. The Queen

Of audience nor desire shall fail, so she

From Egypt drive her all-disgracèd friend,

Or take his life there. This if she perform

She shall not sue unheard. So to them both.

AMBASSADOR           Fortune pursue thee!

CAESAR          Bring him through the bands.

[Exit Ambassador, attended] (3.12.16-25)

 

Of course, Cleopatra’s got to sue for terms with Caesar too, and there’s the same sense, perhaps, of verbatim relaying of her words (or else of tactful, diplomatic paraphrase). Cleopatra does confess thy greatness—you’re the boss, Caesar! top man all round! (although also, perhaps, slightly patronising: haven’t you done well for yourself?)—and she puts herself in your hands, acknowledging that you have all the power; she submits her to thy might, and also therefore your mercy. Of thee she craves the circle of the Ptolemies for her heirs, now hazarded to thy grace. What she really wants is for the crown of Egypt that has descended through her family to continue on to her children. It’s in your gift, yours to do as you wish; it’s hazarded to your grace.

 

Caesar isn’t wasting words. For Antony, I have no ears to his request. The answer is negative, computer says no. As far as Cleopatra goes, well, the Queen of audience nor desire shall fail, she can come to plead with me in person, she can have everything she asks—on the condition that she from Egypt drive her all-disgraced friend, or take his life there. It’s quite simple: if she kicks her loser-lover out of Egypt, or else has him murdered, then I’ll give her what she’s asking for. This if she perform she shall not sue unheard. That’s the condition, entirely straightforward: she just needs to do that and I’ll listen to, and grant, her requests. So to them both: there’s my answers to the two of them, off you go and make your report. Fortune pursue thee! the amateur ambassador stammers out. Have a nice day! not much else he can do, really. At least Caesar gives him a safe conduct back through the assembled troops, the army camp: bring him through the bands. So back goes the schoolmaster, escorted off the premises, with his unequivocal answers for Antony and Cleopatra.

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