Enter Thidias

CLEOPATRA              Caesar’s will?

THIDIAS                     Hear it apart.

CLEOPATRA  None but friends; say boldly.

THIDIAS         So haply are they friends to Antony.

ENOBARBUS  He needs as many, sir, as Caesar has,

Or needs not us. If Caesar please, our master

Will leap to be his friend. For us, you know,

Whose he is, we are: and that is Caesar’s.

THIDIAS         So.                   (3.13.45-52)

So here’s Thidias, Caesar’s emissary, and we know already what he’s meant to do: seduce Cleopatra away from Antony. She is wary, peremptory—queenly: Caesar’s will? What does he want? No messing about with courtesies, diplomacy, flattery from Cleopatra. Thidias is prepared, though: hear it apart. Let me talk just to you, in private, let me whisper in your ear… Cleopatra’s having none of that, she wasn’t born yesterday. None but friends; say boldly. I trust everyone here, they’re my friends, my people; they take my orders. So spit it out. Thidias is Mr Smooth, and he’s not giving up: so haply are they friends to Antony. Perhaps they’re his people, his friends too. They’ll go running to him, won’t they? Enobarbus weighs in, amused (he probably spots what’s going on, it’s the sort of cunning plan that would appeal): Antony needs as many friends, sir, as Caesar has, or needs not us. In the current circumstances, sir, I’d say that Antony needs as many friends as Caesar has, to keep things fair, give him a chance; he needs every friend he can get—or perhaps it’s all hopeless, and he doesn’t even need us. You know, if Caesar please, our master will leap to be his friend. Caesar holds all the cards; if he really wants Antony on his team, he only has to say. Does Caesar need friends, then? Is that what you’re asking? Enobarbus loves a bit of bitchy sarcasm, and his tolerance for clean-cut, smooth and shiny Romans is slim to non-existent. As for the rest of us—there might be an expansive gesture, taking in Charmian and Iras (and it’d help if there were a eunuch or two?)—for us, you know, whose he is, we are: and that is Caesar’s. We’re Caesar’s too, we’ll come and be his friends too, if you like! We have no power, no agency. Just say the word! So. Thidias doesn’t do banter, and he needs Enobarbus to shut up and go away. He doesn’t want to engage, and he doesn’t have to. In the meantime, Cleopatra is composing herself—that might also be what Enobarbus is enabling—and, perhaps, getting a grip on what’s going on.