LUCETTA        And yet methinks I do not like this tune.

JULIA  You do not?

LUCETTA No, madam, ’tis too sharp.

JULIA You, minion, are too saucy.

LUCETTA Nay, now you are too flat,

And mar the concord with too harsh a descant.

There wanteth but a mean to fill your song.

JULIA The mean is drowned with your unruly bass.

LUCETTA Indeed, I bid the base for Proteus.        (1.2.90-98)

Some editors suggest that Julia slaps or threatens Lucetta, leading her to say and yet methinks I do not like this tune. A bit out of order! Not sure what I think; it seems extreme to have actual violence? perhaps it would be less so to an early modern audience, who would assume that servants could be beaten. But it would add a jarring note to the exchange, which is yet more rapid-fire punning and wordplay in its repartee. Oh, you do not like this tune, then? No, madam, ’tis too sharp. (As in music.) It could refer to a slap; it could also be sharp in the sense of something acidic or bitter, that Julia is being sarcastic. Many sauces added acidic qualities to food, reinforcing Julia’s accusation that you, minion, are too saucy. You’re being cheeky, getting above yourself, answering back. But Lucetta’s every bit as quick, if not quicker: nay, now you are too flat, and mar the concord with too harsh a descant. You’re being blunt, harsh, tone-deaf; you’re wrecking things—not least our own concord, our own agreeable relationship—with your over-reactions, the way you’re going on and on about this (a descant offers repeated, improvised variations over a tune, as in Richard III ‘descanting on his own deformity’; it’s usually higher in pitch, suggesting that Julia’s getting a bit shrieky and hysterical too). There wanteth but a mean to fill your song, some moderation, and also another voice—specifically a tenor, or an alto, a middle voice—ie Proteus. Mean also suggests man, and there could be a bawdy suggestion, therefore, in fill. You know what you need, don’t you? The mean is drowned with your unruly bass: you’re the one who started it, with your out-of-order comments (bass/base as low, common); no chance of moderation or decorum with you around! Indeed, I bid the base for Proteus! I’m here as his champion (apparently bidding the base is a reference to ‘prisoner’s base’, whereby one player can act as a kind of decoy, enabling the prisoner to escape).