SPEED            Here follows her vices.

LANCE            Close at the heels of her virtues.

SPEED ‘Item. She is not to be broken with fasting, in respect of her breath.’

LANCE Well, that fault may be mended with a breakfast. Read on.

SPEED ‘Item. She hath a sweet mouth.’

LANCE That makes amends for her sour breath.

SPEED ‘Item. She doth talk in her sleep.’

LANCE It’s no matter for that, so she sleep not in her talk.

SPEED ‘Item. She is slow in words.’

LANCE O villain, that set this down among her vices! To be slow in words is a woman’s only virtue. I pray thee, out with’t, and place it for her chief virtue.    (3.1.304-316)

There’s a LOT more of this… So, here follows her vices, the virtues having been catalogued, and they are indeed close at the heels of her virtues, such that it’s difficult to tell the difference between them. She is not to be broken with fasting, in respect of her breath: don’t have anything to do with her first thing in the morning, her breath’s terrible. Well, that fault may be mended with a breakfast; she’ll be alright after having something to eat. Read on. Item. She hath a sweet mouth, or rather a sweet tooth, and by implication is lascivious. That makes amends for her sour breaththen. (Eating sweetmeats was a common way to perfume the breath, especially among women, which was probably bad partly as a result of tooth decay…

Item. She doth talk in her sleep. Well, that’s no problem, so long as she sleep—slip, slip up—not in her talk. Loose lips etc. And, Item. She is slow in words. Not much to say, though. This allows Lance to bring out a standard misogynist slur: o villain, that set this down among her vices! What a slander! To be slow in words is a woman’s only virtue. I pray thee, out with’t, and place it for her chief virtue. Not only should this be in your other list, it should be right at the top. A woman that doesn’t talk much? A paragon. (And rich coming from Lance.)