Enter Thurio, Proteus, [and] Julia [disguised as a boy]

THURIO          Sir Proteus, what says Silvia to my suit?

PROTEUS       O sir, I find her milder than she was,

And yet she takes exceptions at your person.

THURIO What, that my leg is too long?

PROTEUS No, that it is too little.

THURIO I’ll wear a boot, to make it somewhat rounder.

JULIA  [aside] But love will not be spurred to what it loathes.     (5.2.1-7)

Proteus is still maintaining the fiction that he’s wooing Silvia on Thurio’s behalf, and Thurio wants an update: Sir Proteus, what says Silvia to my suit? How’s it going, is she showing any sign of accepting my flattery, my love, my offer of marriage? Did she like our serenade?? Proteus initially seems encouraging—o sir, I find her milder than she was; she’s being a bit more receptive, less fierce than she used to be; thawing?—and yet she takes exceptions at your person. (Proteus can’t resist teasing Thurio, and it’s easy comedy.) She just doesn’t like the way you look, mate. Thurio is—incensed? anxious? paranoid? What, does she say that my leg is too long? This is either Thurio preening himself a bit—look at my lovely legs—or, more likely, he’s genuinely anxious: legs were a key focal point for masculine attractiveness in the 1590s, with trunk hose very short and stockings sometimes the only leg-covering until mid-thigh; men were known to pad their calves to have a shapelier leg. Proteus’s reply—no, that your leg is too little (and he mightn’t just be talking about legs here—boys, boys), and Thurio’s rejoinder suggests that Thurio’s legs are on the skinny side, rather than short and stumpy—so he’s going to wear a boot, to make it somewhat rounder. (Visions of Thurio in cowboy boots, Cuban heels, whatever.) I’ll change up my footwear to have a better silhouette, more shapely, more fashionable—cooler. Boot is mostly there to allow for Julia’s aside: but love will not be spurred to what it loathes. You can’t do anything to make someone love you if they hate you. Bitter truth—and also allowing a bawdy implication in that spurs have (and give) little pricks—which might be a further insult to Thurio…