HAMLET         I would not hear your enemy say so,

Nor shall you do my ear that violence

To make it truster of your own report

Against yourself. I know you are no truant;

But what is your affair in Elsinore?

We’ll teach you for to drink ere you depart.

HORATIO        My lord, I came to see your father’s funeral.

HAMLET         I prithee do not mock me, fellow student,

I think it was to see my mother’s wedding.

HORATIO        Indeed, my lord, it followed hard upon.      (1.2.169-178)

I would not hear your enemy say so—that you’re merely playing truant from Wittenberg by being here in Denmark—or shall you do my ear that violence to make it truster of your own report against yourself. I don’t believe it, basically; I wouldn’t believe it if your enemy gave me that excuse, and I certainly won’t believe it coming from you. Come on, why are you here? (Hamlet’s framing this partly in positive terms—you’re too conscientious simply to be cutting classes—but there can also be an undercurrent of suspicion.) I know you are no truant. Come on, but what is your affair in Elsinore?What business brings you here? He’s determined to get the truth out of Horatio, albeit he’s lightening the forcefulness of his interrogation with some self-deprecation: we’ll teach you to drink deep ere you depart. That’s what we’re all about here, oh yes, the drinking, it’s all we do when we Danes are at home, and even visitors have to join in. Wahey!

Horatio is straightforward in his answer, and unambiguous: my lord, I came to see your father’s funeral. I’m here to pay my respects. But that’s an excuse for Hamlet to return to his previous theme, quick as anything: I prithee do not mock me, fellow student, I think it was to see my mother’s wedding. Nah, you didn’t come for the funeral, you’re having a laugh! You came for the wedding—and to see my mother’s wedding suggests a certain prurient fascination, even an accusation. You’ve come to gawp—although Hamlet’s main point is the one that Horatio responds to, very politely, although there can be some dry, understated irony too, a smile beginning to crack through (although he perhaps wants to avoid too much sarcasm in front of Marcellus and Barnardo): indeed, my lord, it followed hard upon. Hard to separate them, yes. Not much of a gap between funeral and wedding, indeed; difficult to avoid being here for both.