POLONIUS      Be thou familiar but by no means vulgar;

Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,

Grapple them unto thy soul with hoops of steel,

But do not dull thy palm with entertainment

Of each new-hatched, unfledged courage. Beware

Of entrance to a quarrel but, being in,

Bear’t that th’opposed may beware of thee.

Give every man thy ear but few thy voice;

Take each man’s censure but reserve thy judgement.       (1.3.60-68)

Polonius continues his advice-giving, with a consideration of friendship, a great preoccupation of early modern men in particular. Be thou familiar but by no means vulgar: don’t be grand or stand-offish in your dealings with people—be friendly!—but don’t go too far, don’t befriend all and sundry. And those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried—your good friends, the ones who have stuck with you through thick and thin, the ones you know you can depend on, in the bad times as well as the good—grapple them unto thy soul with hoops of steel. Make sure you hang on to them. Be a good friend to your good friends. Work hard at it, put time into it. But do not dull thy palm with entertainment of each new-hatched, unfledged courage: don’t waste time glad-handing every single new acquaintance, when you really have no idea who they are. Be discerning and discriminating in your choice of friends, and cherish the ones you have.

Beware of entrance to a quarrel—don’t pick fights, don’t go around accepting challenges, or issuing them, or at least not lightly. But, if you do have to get involved in a debate, or a fight, make sure you come off best, make sure you win, and win well. Being in, bear’t that th’opposed may beware of thee. Put up a good fight! Enhance your reputation by it! At the same time, give every man thy ear but few thy voice: listen, when people make an argument or advance a position, but don’t be too ready to endorse it, don’t sign up to support every single cause and every point of view. Be sparing in what you’re seen to back. (And also, more literally, listen more than you speak.) And, take each man’s censure but reserve thy judgement. Listen to the opinions of others, and even accept criticism gratefully, but don’t be too hasty to hold forth as to your own views, or criticise others too freely. Hold back.

It’s all good advice, canny, circumspect, political, the views of a man who is a trusted, high-ranking official but not himself of the first rank in terms of nobility. Laertes has to behave immaculately and be seen to behave immaculately, he must be cautious because he’s not like Hamlet, he’s not a prince, perhaps not even an aristocrat. He’s got to be smart and wary in his choice of friends in particular; he’s always got to be slightly on his guard. It’s a close parallel to all the advice that Laertes himself has been giving Ophelia.