POLONIUS      ‘And in part him, but’, you may say, ‘not well.

But if’t be he I mean he’s very wild,

Addicted so and so’, and there put on him

What forgeries you please. Marry, none so rank

As may dishonour him – take heed of that –

But, sir, such wanton, wild and usual slips

As are companions noted and most known

To youth and liberty.

REYNALDO                As gaming, my lord?

POLONIUS      Ay, or drinking, fencing, swearing,

Quarrelling, drabbing – you may go so far. (2.1.17-27)

Polonius is warming up, moving on to specifics. Having ingratiated himself into the community of Danish expats in Paris, Reynaldo is to ask more leading questions about Laertes, fishing for information. Say that you know him in part, not well; you know him mostly by reputation, you’re not sure if you’ve even got the right chap? But if’t be he I mean he’s very wild, addicted so and so. You’ve heard he’s a bad egg, a libertine, a wastrel. And there put on him what forgeries you please: you can fill in the gaps yourself, in terms of the particularities of his leisure activities. (Addiction isn’t negative, necessarily.) Reynaldo might smirk at this point—marry, none so rank as may dishonour him—take heed of that, Polonius warns; don’t go too far. (You can say that Laertes likes the odd pint and spends too much time at the cinema; suggesting that he’s dealing cocaine is a bit extreme.) But, sir, such wanton, wild and usual slips as are companions noted and most known to youth and liberty. Just mention the usual things that young men abroad get up to, you know? Boys will be boys, after all!

Reynaldo has a mental checklist; he might be making notes, even: as gaming, my lord? (Alas this is cards and dice, and gambling, rather than staying up all night playing Call of Duty and Grand Theft Auto. Or D&D.) Ay, or drinking, fencing, swearing, quarrelling, drabbing—you may go so far. These are in ascending order of badness: drinking and fencing are expectable for young men about town. Swearing: regrettable, but it’s a given. Quarrelling: picking fights, issuing challenges that could lead to real duels, rather than heated late-night debates—more dangerous, one gets a reputation, can damage one’s status as a gentleman. And drabbing, visiting prostitutes. Polonius isn’t entirely happy about the possibility, clearly, but he’s making the assumption that Laertes is probably doing That Sort Of Thing.

At least he wants to find out if that’s the case; that’s the charge sheet that Reynaldo’s going to put, as he makes his enquiries in the Danish expat community in Paris, in between complaining about the coffee and the bread and the beer.