REYNALDO    My lord, that would dishonour him.

POLONIUS      Faith, as you may season it in the charge.

You must not put another scandal on him

That he is open to incontinency –

That’s not my meaning – but breathe his faults so quaintly

That they may seem the taints of liberty,

The flash and outbreak of a fiery mind,

A savageness in unreclaimed blood

Of general assault.

REYNALDO                But my good lord –

POLONIUS      Wherefore should you do this?

REYNALDO                            Ay, my lord,

I would know that.                (2.1.27-37)

Reynaldo is shocked, or pretends to be, perhaps as a matter of form: my lord, that would dishonour him, to suggest that Laertes has been doing all those naughty things. Polonius rows back a bit; he thinks that this is a lovely, clever scheme, not overly complicated or odd at all. Faith, as you may season it in the charge, he says; it’s all in the delivery, light touch, not being too serious, you know? Obviously, you must not put another scandal on him that he is open to incontinency; don’t accuse him out and out of sexual immorality and excess (he’s only reading the magazines for the book reviews; he didn’t inhale; he’s visiting the brothels to practice his French conversation skills? bit of wild oats sowing, perhaps, nothing serious, really; when in Paris, after all?) That’s not my meaning, that he’s some kind of reprobate, not at all.

But breathe his faults so quaintly, intimate that he might be up to no good with such subtlety, so diffidently, that they may seem the taints of liberty, the flash and outbreak of a fiery mind—just youthful high spirits, a bit of entirely expectable experimentation, testing boundaries. He’s a great lad! A savageness in unreclaimed blood of general assault, which sounds altogether more violent, but Polonius is really just restating the same thing, which is fond indulgence (and there’s almost a Falstaff-like sense of a misty-eyed recollection of his own youth): Laertes is young and a bit of bad behaviour is to be expected. He’ll grow out of it. But all the same, I’d like to know what he’s up to.

But my good lord, objects Reynaldo—ah, I know what you’re asking, says Polonius, wherefore should you do this? You’re asking me, why should you go about it this way? Well yes, ay, my lord, I would know that. I would like to know why.