1 PLAYER       What speech, my good lord?

HAMLET         I heard thee speak me a speech once – but it was never acted, or, if it was, not above once, for the play I remember pleased not the million, ’twas caviare to the general. But it was, as I received it, and others whose judgements in such matters cried in the top of mine, an excellent play, well digested in the scenes, set down with as much modesty as cunning. I remember one said there were no sallets in the lines to make the matter savoury nor no matter in the phrase that might indict the author of affection, but called it an honest method, as wholesome as sweet, and by very much more handsome than fine. (2.2.371-383)

The Player King has no problem with taking requests—he seems to expect it—but he needs a bit more of a steer: what speech, my good lord? What would you like? And it seems that Hamlet does have something specific in mind: I heard thee speak me a speech once—then he qualifies it, but it was never acted (the play; Hamlet does indeed know the players well, it seems, well enough to have heard a rehearsal?) or, if it was, not above once. Maybe you performed it just the once? For the play I remember pleased not the million, ’twas caviare to the general. It flopped, as I recall (the Player might nod ruefully, he thinks he knows where this might be going); no crowds were pleased, they were baffled by it. It was too refined for them, perhaps? (Me, Hamlet is implying, me and you, leading actor, we are people of taste and understanding. We liked it and saw its quality.) But it was, as I received it, and others whose judgements in such matters cried in the top of mine, an excellent play. Anyone who knew anything about theatre thought it was rather good. It was well digested in the scenes, nicely constructed—a well-made play!—and subtle, skilful, understated, set down with as much modesty as cunning. I remember one said there were no sallets in the lines to make the matter savoury—that it was a bit dull, under-seasoned (more salt and spice called for!) nor no matter in the phrase that might indict the author of affection: it wasn’t fanciful or overblown or affected. But it was called an honest method, as wholesome as sweet: it was a thoroughly decent play, instructive as well as pleasing, and by very much more handsome than fine. Not trying to be too clever, not overwrought. It was a good, straightforward play. (Hamlet is not describing Hamlet.)