HAMLET         Now this overdone, or come tardy off, though it makes the unskilful laugh, cannot but make the judicious grieve, the censure of which one must in your allowance o’erweigh a whole theatre of others. O, there be players that I have seen play and heard others praised – and that highly – not to speak it profanely, that neither having th’accent of Christians nor the gait of Christian, pagan nor man have so strutted and bellowed that I have thought some of Nature’s journeymen had made men, and not made them well, they imitated humanity so abhominably.         (3.2.24-34)

Hamlet’s really getting into it now, being ever more exacting, and perhaps indiscreet, and arch: now this overdone, or come tardy off—if the performance is over-the-top, or underpowered, badly paced, even—though it makes the unskilful laugh (they don’t know any better, they’ll laugh at anything, at, mind you, not with) cannot but make the judicious grieve. It’ll distress the people who do know good acting when they see it, and the censure of which one must in your allowance o’erweigh a whole theatre of others. All audience members are not equal: you want to have the connoisseurs onside, the people with taste and influence. You’ve got to do more than just play to the gallery.

O, there be players that I have seen play and heard others praised—and that highly—there are SOME actors I could mention, both from my own observations and the (mistaken) praise by others, and, I mean, not to be too damning, or to speak it profanely (Hamlet’s about to advance a view that only the most circumspect could regard as being profane; he’s well away in his own performance at this point and could well be being ironic, even mocking or at least recalling popular terms of censure of other actors?)—anyway, these other actors, whom I COULD but WILL FORBEAR to NAME, that neither having the accent of Christians nor the gait of Christian, pagan nor man—they barely sound human, my DEAR, and as for the way they WALK… they have so strutted and bellowed, shouted and minced (strutted is difficult to find an equivalent to; the point is that actors, especially playing leading roles, seem to have had particular walks, for example, the long, stalking stride of a hero or tyrant) that I have thought some of Nature’s journeymen had made men, and not made them well. They looked as if they’d been assembled not quite by the apprentice, but certainly not by the master either; shoddy, a poor job all round (wooden, even), they imitated humanity so abhominably. The last is a misspelling which might be Latinate (ab hominem, away from the man) but also perhaps gives a clue as to pronunciation, a pronunciation which might itself be an imitation or parody. I think that Hamlet’s being more arch, and more self-aware about his preciousness (or the preciousness of habitual theatre-goers) than might usually be allowed. In which case, Burbage might be being asked to send himself up a bit too.