POLONIUS      My lord, the Queen would speak with you, and presently.

HAMLET         Do you see yonder cloud that’s almost in shape of a camel?

POLONIUS      By th’ mass and ’tis like a camel indeed.

HAMLET         Methinks it is like a weasel.

POLONIUS      It is backed like a weasel.

HAMLET         Or like a whale?

POLONIUS      Very like a whale.

HAMLET         Then I will come to my mother, by and by. [aside] They fool me to the top of my bent. – I will come by and by. – Leave me, friends. – I will. Say so. ‘By and by’ is easily said.

[Exeunt all but Hamlet.]        (3.2.365-377)

A reiterated command—Rosencrantz and Guildenstern can’t be trusted, Polonius doesn’t trust anyone to complete a simple task, so does it himself: my lord, the Queen would speak with you, and presently. Right away, if you please. Hamlet does a bit more mad distracting, because Polonius always gives good value in this respect: do you see yonder cloud that’s almost in shape of a camel? How cool is that?! Polonius is conciliatory, prepared to play along, in order to get Hamlet to see Gertrude asap: by th’ mass and ’tis like a camel indeed. It absolutely looks like a camel. Yes. Methinks it is like a weasel. (Camels are funny. Weasels are funnier, not least because they are nothing like camels.) It is backed like a weasel, well now you come to it, it does look a bit like a weasel in its—curvy top? (There could be a half-hearted gesture here; Polonius must know he’s being played.) Or like a whale? (Whales are nothing like camels or weasels; part of the absurdity is the abrupt shift in scale, from large to small and now back to large again.) Very like a whale: either he’s agreeing for the sake of it, he has to play along, keep Hamlet onside, or else Polonius is already deeply invested, wonderingly, yes, now I look again, it is indeed very like a whale.

(It is of course meant to be night. No clouds are visible—although they might be in the afternoon, at the Globe…) Apparently this absurd(ist) exchange has made Hamlet’s mind up, it was the whale that swung it: then I will come to my mother, by and by. I’ll be right there! They fool me to the top of my bent; they’re really trying my patience, winding me up (bending me like a bow; there’s an image of pent-up energy, tension, rage). I will come by and by, stop fussing, honestly (Polonius might be gesturing, come on, then, I’ll deliver you to her). Leave me, friends (Rosencranz and Guildenstern leave with some relief, perhaps, Horatio with concern. I will! I’m coming right after you, say so, go and tell her I’m on my way. ‘By and by’ is easily said, surely even you can manage to deliver that message!? (And it’s all very well my saying I’ll be there right away; I’ll be there in my own time.)