Enter CLAUDIUS, ROSENCRANTZ and GUILDENSTERN.
CLAUDIUS I like him not, nor stands it safe with us
To let his madness range. Therefore prepare you.
I your commission will forthwith dispatch
And he to England shall along with you.
The terms of our estate may not endure
Hazard so near us as doth hourly grow
Out of his brows.
GUILDENSTERN We will ourselves provide.
Most holy and religious fear it is
To keep those many many bodies safe
That live and feed upon your majesty. (3.3.1-10)
Claudius has had a stiff drink or two since his speedy exit from the play and is now going full mafia boss, a nice mixture of brutal decisiveness and paranoia. I like him not, nor stands it safe with us to let his madness range. I’m not happy, not happy at all. This can’t go on, this—acting out, this crazy stuff. It’s too risky. (The conversation’s been going on for a while; he doesn’t name Hamlet, he doesn’t need to.) Therefore prepare you. This is it. I your commission with forthwith dispatch and he to England shall along with you. I’ll get the paperwork finalised and he’s going with you. To England. (Have Rosencrantz and Guildenstern been consulted at all about this mission? There could be a look of incredulity, of excitement, of misplaced enthusiasm and confidence; an expense account! per diems!—another job for them to screw up!) And now kingly: the terms of our estate may not endure hazard so near us as doth hourly grow out of his brows. It’s just too dangerous to have him here any longer, it’s putting the whole country at risk, my leadership, the stability of the government—everything. I have to think of my position—my country. Hamlet’s a ticking timebomb, we’ve got to get him out of here!
Guildenstern excels himself in obsequious oleaginousness: we will ourselves provide. Absolutely, SIR, we’ll go and ready ourselves, you can leave it to us! Most holy and religious fear it is to keep those many many bodies safe that live and feed upon your majesty. You’re such a good king, always thinking of others! This is the only responsible course of action, it’s your God-given duty to look after all your subjects, who depend on you! (But live and feed makes it sound parasitical, like Guildenstern and Rosencrantz themselves, slimy, opportunistic—regrettable and expendable.)