Enter Polonius.
LAERTES But here my father comes.
A double blessing is a double grace:
Occasion smiles upon a second leave.
POLONIUS Yet here, Laertes? Aboard, aboard for shame!
The wind sits in the shoulder of your sail
And you are stayed for. There, my blessing with thee,
And these few precepts in thy memory
Look thou character: give thy thoughts no tongue
Nor any unproportioned thought his act. (1.3.51-9)
There’s an easy laugh if Laertes says I stay too long after his father enters, but he can also play it completely straight; he doesn’t have to roll his eyes at his father and mock him. A double blessing is a double grace: to say farewell to my father all over again, and to receive his blessing all over again, is itself a blessing, a good and happy thing. Occasion smiles upon a second leave: what good fortune to have another chance to say our goodbyes! (Although he can be various degrees of sarcastic, or at least long-suffering.)
Polonius is anxious: yet here, Laertes? What are you doing, still here? Aboard, aboard for shame! Hurry up! The wind sits in the shoulder of your sail and you are stayed for: the ship’s ready to leave, the winds are propitious, and they’re waiting for you! There, my blessing with thee—Laertes might kneel to ask his father’s blessing, as would be conventional in the early seventeenth century—or Polonius could embrace him, kiss his cheek, both cheeks, give him a firm handshake. And these few precepts in thy memory look thou character: just a few more words of advice for you to remember, as if you were writing them down. (Laertes and Ophelia are allowed to exchange a speaking look here; Ophelia might look particularly amused, not least because Laertes has just been giving her unsolicited advice. A sense that they’re bracing, for rather more than a few precepts.) Give thy thoughts no tongue nor any unproportioned thought his act. Don’t just say the first thing that comes into your head; don’t do anything without weighing it up carefully first, ensuring that you’re acting reasonably. (This particularly chimes with what Laertes has been saying to Ophelia, definitely going a bit far, being unreasonable, saying too much, too many details.)
But Polonius is only just getting started…