HAMLET Why did ye laugh then, when I said man delights not me?
ROSENCRANTZ To think, my lord, if you delight not in man what Lenten entertainment the players shall receive from you; we coted them on the way and hither are they coming to offer you service.
HAMLET He that plays the King shall be welcome – his majesty shall have tribute on me – the Adventurous Knight shall use his foil and target, the Lover shall not sigh gratis, the Humorous Man shall end his part in peace, and the Lady shall say her mind freely or the blank verse shall halt for’t. What players are they?
ROSENCRANTZ Even those you were wont to take such delight in, the tragedians of the city. (2.2.279-292)
Hamlet doesn’t let anything get past him: why did ye laugh then, when I said man delights not me? Could be nothing, but he doesn’t want Rosencrantz to think that he’s got any chance of gaining the upper hand. Go on, what’s so funny? Rosencrantz thinks rapidly, has an answer—perhaps this has been prearranged with Claudius, even?—to think, my lord, if you delight not in man what Lenten entertainment the players will receive from you. You won’t be giving them a very warm welcome then, will you? Send them packing? We coted them on the way—ran into them—and hither are they coming to offer you service. They’re on their way; they want to put on a show for you right here! (The suggestion is that this is part of the Cheer Up Hamlet campaign.)
Hamlet’s back on top, acerbic and perceptive: he that plays the King shall be welcome—his majesty shall have tribute on me. You know how I LOVE a king, I do. (In any case, I’ll take an actor playing a king over the actual king right now.) And then he catalogues a series of stock characters (I don’t think I have ever heard these lines performed…) The Adventurous Knight shall use his foil and target, put on a fine display fighting with his sword and shield (he’s an old-fashioned romance knight, no rapier and dagger here). The Lover shall not sigh gratis; he’ll be paid for his pains, his suffering won’t all be in vain. The Humorous Man shall end his part in peace, he’ll be able to get to the end of his speech without being interrupted. And the Lady shall say her mind freely or the blank verse shall halt for’t; she’ll be able to speak her mind, unconstrained by the demands of the verse. (All of these are idealised things, in effect saying, it’ll never happen, these are all impossibilities.) What players are they? Which company, do I know them? Rosencrantz wants Hamlet to be pleased, to calm down: even those you were wont to take such delight in, the tragedians of the city. Your old favourites! The local talent—remember how you used to love them? this is going to be GREAT.