POLONIUS      Come, sirs.

HAMLET         Follow him, friends. We’ll hear a play tomorrow. [aside to First Player] Dost thou hear me, old friend? Can you play The Murder of Gonzago?

1 PLAYER       Ay, my lord.

HAMLET         We’ll ha’t tomorrow night. You could for need study a speech of some dozen lines, or sixteen lines, which I would set down and insert in’t, could you not?

1 PLAYER       Ay, my lord.

HAMLET         Very well. Follow that lord – and look you mock him not. [to other Players] My good friends, I’ll leave you till night. You are welcome to Elsinore.

ROSENCRANTZ         Good my lord.

HAMLET         Ay so, God buy to you. (Exeunt [all but Hamlet].)   (2.2.471-484)

Yes, ALRIGHT, come, sirs, Polonius says to the players, pointedly not acknowledging Hamlet’s remarks. Hamlet’s apparently cheery, sort of—follow him, friends (a glance at Polonius: these are my friends, treat them well)—and then the first instruction; Hamlet’s in charge here. We’ll hear a play tomorrow. Give you time to catch your breath, settle in. And the crucial addition, spoken to the First Player: dost thou hear me, old friend? A word? On the quiet? Can you play The Murder of Gonzago?. Ay, my lord, of course we can, it’s a standard. Or, perhaps, slight incredulity: well, we can, it’s still technically in our rep, but why would you be wanting that old warhorse? We’ll ha’t tomorrow night. That’s the one. Hamlet’s definite. And—casually, but precisely: you could for need, if necessary—if I asked you, as I am, clearly—study a speech of some dozen lines, or sixteen lines, which I would set down and insert in’t, could you not? If I were to write you a short speech (and editors quibble over the specificity of the length, twelve or sixteen—but the meaning is clear, short, and also, not a sonnet, sonnets are for love, for Ophelia)—you’d be able to learn it in time, and add it in at the appropriate moment? The Player isn’t fazed at all by this, it’s a relatively regular occurrence, adding new bits to old plays, prologues and epilogues and other speeches too: ay, my lord. No problem. Very well. Agreed. Then, perhaps to all of them, gathering their bags: follow that lord, and look you mock him not (perhaps to one of the younger players, the boy). Don’t be (too) cheeky. (The SD is editorial and could go anywhere, really.) My good friends, I’ll leave you till night. (Got to write that speech, among other things.) You are welcome to Elsinore! (He might at that point be addressing Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, who have been comprehensively sidelined in this scene.) Good my lord, Rosencrantz attempts, aware that they’ve largely failed in their mission to watch Hamlet. Ay, so, God buy to you. Later. Whatever. Losers.