Antony: nope, wrong end of the stick; try harder, Caesar (2.2.45-54) #BurningBarge #SlowShakespeare

ANTONY         You do mistake the business. My brother never

Did urge me in his act. I did enquire it,

And have my learning from some true reports

That drew their swords with you. Did he not rather

Discredit my authority with yours,

And make the wars alike against my stomach,

Having alike your cause? Of this, my letters

Before did satisfy you. If you’ll patch a quarrel,

As matter whole you have to make it with,

It must not be with this.       (2.2.45-54)

 

Nope, says Antony, you’ve got it all wrong. You do mistake the business; wrong end of the stick entirely. My brother never did urge me in his act; he never claimed that he was doing it—waging war—on my behalf. I did enquire it, making enquiries specifically about that, and I got my information from some true reports, unimpeachable, accurate sources; they drew their swords with you. (Ambiguous, perhaps, drew their swords with you: were Antony’s sources fighting with Caesar, alongside him, or against him? Either way, they were there on the ground and in a position to know the truth.) (Antony is following the methods of giving circumstantial evidence here, giving precise details, establishing the credibility of his witnesses.) And moreover, did he not rather discredit my authority with yours, and make the wars alike against my stomach, having alike your cause? Antony’s done with defence, he’s dealt with Caesar’s accusation, and now he’s making a counter-attack of his own. It was the other way around! My brother pursued his war expressly against my wishes, my stomach, my inclination, discrediting my authority with yours, snubbing and insulting me every much as he did you. He had the same cause against me as you do! We’ve been through this already, moreover: my letters before did satisfy you. Why are you opening up all this again? If you’ll patch a quarrel, cobble together an argument, then as matter whole you have to make it with: you’ve actually got plenty of justification, you could start over from whole cloth, as it were, put together a whole new falling-out from a new set of grievances. It must not be with this. Don’t just reheat the old stuff: start afresh! You can do it!

 

Antony is extremely good at this, perhaps unexpectedly so. He’s patronizing (come on, you can do better than that), makes unexpected concessions (you would be justified in being annoyed with me, he admits to Caesar, for instance), can back up his assertions circumstantially, and speaks with force, concision, and a certain knotty neatness. Currently winning on style as well as points.

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