HELENA Good Hermia, do not be so bitter with me.
I evermore did love you, Hermia,
Did ever keep your counsels, never wronged you,
Save that in love unto Demetrius,
I told him of your stealth unto this wood.
He followed you; for love, I followed him.
But he hath chid me hence, and threatened me
To strike me, spurn me, nay to kill me too.
And now, so you will let me quiet go,
To Athens will I bear my folly back,
And follow you no further. Let me go.
You see how simple and how fond I am. (3.2.306-317)
Helena tries another tactic: grovelling apology. Good Hermia, do not be so bitter with me. Please? Don’t be NASTY? I evermore did love you, Hermia, did ever keep your counsels, never wronged you: I was the best of friends to you, kept your secrets, never let you down. Um, um, that is, save that in love unto Demetrius I told him of your stealth unto this wood. Does she spit it out as if hoping to get it over with, aware that she’s just dropped a small but powerful bomb? Or does she really think that this is a small, forgivable transgression, after such a long, loyal friendship? Soz, babe. It was just the once? I just couldn’t help myself, telling him you were running away? He followed you—yes, I knew he would—for love, I followed him. I couldn’t help that either. I’m such a LOSER, I know, but I thought he might, you know, like me a bit better? be grateful? think worse of you? But he hath chid me hence—he was HORRIBLE, said AWFUL things to make me go away—and threatened me, to strike me, spurn me, nay to kill me too. (How does that land with Demetrius? Does he remember? Is Lysander looking at him with disgust, or do they both continue to be blithely, imperviously, magnificently stoned?)
So I’m giving up, says Helena: and now, so you will let me quiet go—if it’s OK with you, that is (the suggestion is that Hermia is being Quite Aggressive here, perhaps being restrained by the boys, which is often the case in performance) to Athens will I bear my folly back, and follow you no further. I’ll just go home. By myself. Leaving you all here in the forest. Without me. Let me go? Please? This has been a DISASTER. You see how simple and how fond I am; I’m just an idiot, and a fool for love…
