[Enter Speed]

SPEED Sir Proteus, ’save you. Saw you my master?

PROTEUS       But now he parted hence to embark for Milan.

SPEED Twenty to one, then, he is shipped already,

And I have played the sheep in losing him.

PROTEUS Indeed a sheep doth very often stray,

An if the shepherd be a while away.

SPEED You conclude that my master is a shepherd then, and I a sheep?

PROTEUS I do.

SPEED Why then, my horns are his horns, whether I wake or sleep.

PROTEUS A silly answer, and fitting well a sheep. (1.1.70-79)

Speed, Valentine’s servant. He could be a boy, like Moth in Love’s Labour’s Lost; he could be a (young) man, like Gremio in Taming of the Shrew. He’s referred to as a page elsewhere in the text, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he must be a child. Rapid delivery was sometimes associated with the boy actors, and might be suggested by his name (he’s not named here; another possibility is that he’s habitually slow), but if he’s to be Valentine’s sole body servant, then an adult or at least older teenager might be more likely? Whatever, he’s running late and messing up, and he’s relieved to see Proteus: Sir Proteus, ’save you. (He means, God save you. It’s a classic example of references to God being purged in the 1623 text, following the 1606 Act to restrain abuses of players, which banned actors from ‘jestingly or profanely speak[ing] or us[ing] the holy Name of God, or of Christ Jesus, or the Holy Ghost, or of the Trinity, which are not to be spoken but with Fear and Reverence’.) Saw you my master? Where is he? (The implication, perhaps, is that Proteus and Valentine are habitually found together.) You just missed him, reassures Proteus: but now he parted hence to embark for Milan. Only a moment ago! Bad luck! Twenty to one, then, he is shipped already, and I have played the sheep in losing him. Oh no! He’s gone aboard, and I’ve gone astray, like a sheep, like a little lamb, lost in a wood. (Sheep are also proverbially stupid.)

Entirely unpromisingly, thus begins a long exchange of sheep jokes, which begins with Speed’s near-pun on shipped and sheep, the rather basic humour of which is reinforced by doggerel rhyme. Indeed a sheep doth very often stray—yes, they do that, wandering off—an if the shepherd be a while away. Especially if their shepherd isn’t around to keep an eye on things. You conclude that my master is a shepherd then, and I a sheep? Well yes, I do, says Proteus. That’s it, that’s the joke. Why then, my horns are his horns, whether I wake or sleep. And so, no matter what I do, whether I am a good shepherd or not, staying awake or sleeping on the job, if I’m ever a cuckold—and therefore have horns—then he will be too, because he’s my master; what I do or have done to me is a reflection on him. Sheep joke therefore enables horn joke, introducing both the possibility of animal transformation (metamorphosis, again) and also infidelity. But who, in this play, is going to end up cheating on whom?!

As Proteus points out, Speed’s response is a silly answer, both foolish and simplistic, and therefore fitting well a sheep. More to come, though, in this tour de force of ovine humour!