PROTEUS       But what said she?

SPEED            [nodding] Ay.

PROTEUS Nod, ‘ay’? Why, that’s ‘noddy’.

SPEED You mistook, sir. I say she did nod, and you ask me if she did nod, and I say, ‘Ay’.

PROTEUS And that set together is ‘noddy’.

SPEED Now you have taken the pains to set it together, take it for your pains.

PROTEUS No, no. You shall have it for bearing the letter.

SPEED Well, I perceive I must be fain to bear with you.

PROTEUS Why, sir, how do you bear with me?

SPEED Marry, sir, the letter very orderly, having nothing but the word ‘noddy’ for my pains.

PROTEUS Beshrew me, but you have a quick wit.

SPEED And yet it cannot overtake your slow purse.         (1.1.101-115)

 

But what said she? What did she SAY? Proteus is wailing in frustration, but Speed’s not giving an inch. Ay, she said yes, says Speed, nodding. (The nodding is important, it sets up the truly impoverished joke that he’s about to produce.) Nod, ‘ay’? Why that’s ‘noddy’, Proteus works out—and a noddy is a fool. Are you calling me a fool? Is SHE calling me a fool? No, no, you mistook, sir. I say she did nod, and you ask me if she did nod, and I say ‘Ay’. And that set together is ‘noddy’, repeats Proteus, actually quite reasonably. (Noddy is apparently also a slang term for sexual activity; alas it has nothing to do with nude, or being in the noddy, it seems to be a coinage by Nashe. Although with Nashe, who knows?)

 

Now you have taken the pains to set it together, take it for your pains, retorts Speed: I’m not calling you a noddy, she’s not calling you a noddy, that’s what you’re calling yourself, now you’ve finally worked it out! No, no. You shall have it—the pains—for bearing the letter. Threatening to beat a servant, always an option if you’re coming off worse in a battle of wits. Well, I perceive I must be fain to bear with you—even though I did the bearing already, when I carried the letter, is implicit. And now see what I have to put up with! Why, sir, how do you bear with me? What are you complaining about now? Marry, sir, the letter very orderly (I carried, bore it is implicit), having nothing but the word ‘noddy’ for my pains! I did exactly as you asked, delivered the letter according to my instructions—and what thanks did I get? let alone payment? All I got was the word ‘noddy’—which I’ve delivered back here to you. A thank you would be nice… Beshrew me, but you have a quick wit, Proteus finally concedes. I can’t keep up (truth). And yet it cannot overtake your slow purse: Speed doesn’t give an inch. All my wit is for nothing if you’re not going to cop on and give me a decent tip!