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Slow Shakespeare

Author: Hester Lees-Jeffries

Thurio: I’m off after Silvia, the stupid cow; Proteus: Me too! Julia: Me too! (5.2.47-54) #2Dudes1Dog #SlowShakespeare

THURIO          Why this it is to be a peevish girl, That flies her fortune when it follows her. I’ll after, more to be revenged on Eglamour Than for the love of reckless Silvia. [Exit] PROTEUS       And I will follow, more for Silvia’s love Than hate of Eglamour that goes with her. [Exit] JULIA  And I […]

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Duke: you’ve got to help me pursue my runaway daughter! (5.2.41-46) #2Dudes1Dog #SlowShakespeare

DUKE  These likelihoods confirm her flight from hence; Therefore I pray you, stand not to discourse, But mount you presently, and meet with me Upon the rising of the mountain foot That leads toward Mantua, whither they are fled. Dispatch, sweet gentlemen, and follow me. [Exit]   (5.2.41-46)   These likelihoods confirm her flight from hence: […]

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Duke: Silvia’s run away! with Sir Eglamour! (5.2.30-40) #2Dudes1Dog #SlowShakespeare

[Enter Duke] DUKE  How now, Sir Proteus? How now, Thurio? Which of you saw Eglamour of late? THURIO          Not I. PROTEUS       Nor I. DUKE Saw you my daughter? PROTEUS Neither. DUKE Why then, she’s fled unto that peasant Valentine, And Eglamour is in her company. ’Tis true, for Friar Laurence met them both As he […]

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Thurio: but does Silvia LIKE me? Proteus: yes-no, not really; Julia: NO?! (5.2.19-29) #2Dudes1Dog #SlowShakespeare

THURIO          What says she to my valour? PROTEUS       O sir, she makes no doubt of that. JULIA  [aside] She needs not, when she knows it cowardice. THURIO What says she to my birth? PROTEUS That you are well derived. JULIA [aside] True – from a gentleman to a fool. THURIO Considers she my possessions? PROTEUS O ay, […]

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Thurio: does Silvia think I am handsome and witty? does she? (5.2.8-18) #2Dudes1Dog #SlowShakespeare

THURIO          What says she to my face? PROTEUS       She says it is a fair one. THURIO Nay, then, the wanton lies. My face is black. PROTEUS But pearls are fair; and the old saying is, ‘Black men are pearls in beauteous ladies’ eyes.’ JULIA  [aside] ’Tis true, such pearls as put out ladies’ eyes, For I […]

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Thurio: does Silvia love me yet? Proteus: she just doesn’t like the way you look mate (5.2.1-7) #2Dudes1Dog #SlowShakespeare

Enter Thurio, Proteus, [and] Julia [disguised as a boy] THURIO          Sir Proteus, what says Silvia to my suit? PROTEUS       O sir, I find her milder than she was, And yet she takes exceptions at your person. THURIO What, that my leg is too long? PROTEUS No, that it is too little. THURIO I’ll wear a […]

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Silvia is running away to find Valentine! with that nice Sir Eglamour (5.1.1-12) #2Dudes1Dog #SlowShakespeare

Enter Eglamour EGLAMOUR    The sun begins to gild the western sky, And now it is about the very hour That Silvia at Friar Patrick’s cell should meet me. She will not fail; for lovers break not hours, Unless it be to come before their time, So much they spur their expedition.  [Enter Silvia] See where […]

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Julia to Silvia’s portrait: Proteus is going to LOVE you, not at ALL creepily (4.4.183-191) #2Dudes1Dog #SlowShakespeare

JULIA  Come, shadow, come, and take this shadow up, For ’tis thy rival. O, thou senseless form, Thou shalt be worshipped, kissed, loved, and adored! And were there sense in his idolatry My substance should be statue in thy stead. I’ll use thee kindly, for thy mistress’ sake, That used me so; or else, by […]

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Julia: I’m as pretty as Silvia! I’m her equal! WHY doesn’t Proteus love me anymore, then? (4.4.170-182) #2Dudes1Dog #SlowShakespeare

JULIA  Here is her picture. Let me see, I think If I had such a tire, this face of mine Were full as lovely as is this of hers. And yet the painter flattered her a little, Unless I flatter with myself too much. Her hair is auburn, mine is perfect yellow; If that be […]

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Julia: I can’t even hate Silvia, she’s really nice (4.4.159-169) #2Dudes1Dog #SlowShakespeare

SILVIA She is beholding to thee, gentle youth. Alas, poor lady, desolate and left. I weep myself to think upon thy words. Here, youth. There is my purse. I give thee this For thy sweet mistress’ sake, because thou lov’st her. Farewell. JULIA  And she shall thank you for’t, if e’er you know her.– [Exit […]

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Recent Posts

  • Hamlet: stay away from Claudius! don’t let him seduce you! (3.4.178-186) #InkyCloak #SlowShakespeare
  • Hamlet: sorry about the body! I’m on a divine mission, sort of? (3.4.170-178) #InkyCloak #SlowShakespeare
  • Hamlet: stop sleeping with your husband, you’ll soon get used to it! (3.4.163-170) #InkyCloak #SlowShakespeare
  • Hamlet: fake it til you make it, mum! (well, sort of) (3.4.154-163) #InkyCloak #SlowShakespeare
  • Hamlet: repent, REPENT! (sorry mum did I go too far?) (3.4.147-153) #InkyCloak #SlowShakespeare

Recent Comments

  1. Hester Lees-Jeffries on Hamlet: my dad died unprepared! I can’t kill my uncle now, no (3.3.80-87) #InkyCloak #SlowShakespeare
  2. Hester Lees-Jeffries on Hamlet: I’m looking at HIM! Gertrude: there’s NOTHING THERE! (3.2.121-131) #InkyCloak #SlowShakespeare
  3. Sunil on Hamlet: my dad died unprepared! I can’t kill my uncle now, no (3.3.80-87) #InkyCloak #SlowShakespeare
  4. Sunil on Hamlet: I’m looking at HIM! Gertrude: there’s NOTHING THERE! (3.2.121-131) #InkyCloak #SlowShakespeare
  5. Hester Lees-Jeffries on Claudius: and I’m still enjoying the wages of my sins! (3.3.51-56) #Inky Cloak #SlowShakespeare