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Slow Shakespeare

Author: Hester Lees-Jeffries

Valentine’s going to elope with your daughter! and that would kill you! (3.1.10-21) #2Dudes1Dog #SlowShakespeare

PROTEUS       Know, worthy prince, Sir Valentine my friend This night intends to steal away your daughter. Myself am one made privy to the plot. I know you have determined to bestow her On Thurio, whom your gentle daughter hates, And should she thus be stol’n away from you, It would be much vexation to your […]

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Proteus: Duke, I’ve GOT to tell you something, I feel I have no choice (3.1.1-9) #2Dudes1Dog #SlowShakespeare

Enter Duke, Thurio, and Proteus DUKE  Sir Thurio, give us leave, I pray, awhile. We have some secrets to confer about. [Exit Thurio] Now tell me, Proteus, what’s your will with me? PROTEUS       My gracious lord, that which I would discover The law of friendship bids me to conceal. But when I call to mind […]

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Help me! I’ve got to get away! My mind’s made up! (2.7.80-90) #2Dudes1Dog #SlowShakespeare

JULIA  Now, as thou lov’st me, do him not that wrong To bear a hard opinion of his truth. Only deserve my love by loving him, And presently go with me to my chamber To take a note of what I stand in need of To furnish me upon my longing journey. All that is […]

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But not ALL men, not my PROTEUS! (2.7.72-79) #2Dudes1Dog #SlowShakespeare

LUCETTA       All these are servants to deceitful men. JULIA  Base men, that use them to so base effect. But truer stars did govern Proteus’ birth. His words are bonds, his oaths are oracles, His love sincere, his thoughts immaculate, His tears pure messengers sent from his heart, His heart as far from fraud as heaven […]

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Julia: Proteus will be THRILLED to see me; Lucetta: mmmmm (2.7.63-71) #2Dudes1Dog #SlowShakespeare

JULIA              Nay, that I will not. LUCETTA        Then never dream on infamy, but go. If Proteus like your journey when you come, No matter who’s displeased when you are gone. I fear me he will scarce be pleased withal. JULIA That is the least, Lucetta, of my fear. A thousand oaths, an ocean of his […]

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Pins, codpieces, BANTER: wait, is this all a terrible idea? (2.7.53-62) #2Dudes1Dog #SlowShakespeare

LUCETTA        You must needs have them with a codpiece, madam. JULIA  Out, out, Lucetta! That will be ill-favoured. LUCETTA A round hose, madam, now’s not worth a pin Unless you have a codpiece to stick pins on. JULIA Lucetta, as thou lov’st me let me have What thou think’st meet and is most mannerly. But […]

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But what will you do with your HAIR? and, TROUSERS?? (2.7.44-52) #2Dudes1Dog #SlowShakespeare

LUCETTA        Why then, your ladyship must cut your hair. JULIA  No, girl, I’ll knit it up in silken strings With twenty odd-conceited true-love knots. To be fantastic may become a youth Of greater time than I shall show to be. LUCETTA What fashion, madam, shall I make your breeches? JULIA That fits as well as […]

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Julia: I’ve got it all planned! I’m going to dress as a BOY! (2.7.33-43) #2Dudes1Dog #SlowShakespeare

JULIA  Then let me go, and hinder not my course. I’ll be as patient as a gentle stream, And make a pastime of each weary step Till the last step have brought me to my love. And there I’ll rest, as after much turmoil A blessèd soul doth in Elysium. LUCETTA        But in what habit […]

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Julia: If I don’t go to Proteus I will BURST! I will EXPLODE! (2.7.21-32) #2Dudes1Dog #SlowShakespeare

LUCETTA        I do not seek to quench your love’s hot fire, But qualify the fire’s extreme rage, Lest it should burn above the bounds of reason. JULIA  The more thou damm’st it up, the more it burns. The current that with gentle murmur glides Thou know’st, being stopped, impatiently doth rage; But when his fair […]

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Julia: I HAVE to go to Proteus I’ll DIE without him (2.7.8-20) #2Dudes1Dog #SlowShakespeare

LUCETTA        Alas, the way is wearisome and long. JULIA  A true-devoted pilgrim is not weary To measure kingdoms with his feeble steps. Much less shall she that hath love’s wings to fly, And when the flight is made to one so dear, Of such divine perfection as Sir Proteus. LUCETTA        Better forbear till Proteus make […]

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Recent Posts

  • Hamlet: my dad died unprepared! I can’t kill my uncle now, no (3.3.80-87) #InkyCloak #SlowShakespeare
  • Hamlet: I could kill him! right here, right NOW! (3.3.73-79) #InkyCloak #SlowShakespeare
  • Claudius: I’m trapped! doomed! but, one last try, to pray… (3.3.67-72) #InkyCloak #SlowShakespeare
  • Claudius: and I can’t even bribe my way out of this! (3.3.57-66) #InkyCloak #SlowShakespeare
  • Claudius: and I’m still enjoying the wages of my sins! (3.3.51-56) #Inky Cloak #SlowShakespeare

Recent Comments

  1. Hester Lees-Jeffries on Claudius: and I’m still enjoying the wages of my sins! (3.3.51-56) #Inky Cloak #SlowShakespeare
  2. Hester Lees-Jeffries on Claudius: my hands are bloody! but surely I could still be forgiven? (3.3.43-51) #InkyCloak #SlowShakespeare
  3. Hester Lees-Jeffries on Claudius: I KILLED MY OWN BROTHER! (3.3.36-43) #InkyCloak #SlowShakespeare
  4. Sunil on Claudius: and I’m still enjoying the wages of my sins! (3.3.51-56) #Inky Cloak #SlowShakespeare
  5. Sunil on Claudius: my hands are bloody! but surely I could still be forgiven? (3.3.43-51) #InkyCloak #SlowShakespeare