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Slow Shakespeare

Author: Hester Lees-Jeffries

All sorted! Proteus can go to Milan TOMORROW! (1.3.34-44) #2Dudes1Dog #SlowShakespeare

ANTONIO       I like thy counsel. Well hast thou advised. And that thou mayst perceive how well I like it, The execution of it shall make known. Even with the speediest expedition I will dispatch him to the Emperor’s court. PANTINO       Tomorrow, may it please you, Don Alphonso, With other gentlemen of good esteem, Are journeying […]

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It’s obvious: send Proteus on his OE to Milan! (1.3.24-33) #2Dudes1Dog #SlowShakespeare

ANTONIO       Then tell me, whither were I best to send him? PANTINO       I think your lordship is not ignorant How his companion, youthful Valentine, Attends the Emperor in his royal court. ANTONIO I know it well. PANTINO ’Twere good, I think, your lordship sent him thither. There shall he practise tilts and tournaments, Hear sweet […]

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Antonio: couldn’t agree more, Proteus needs to spread his wings (1.3.11-23) #2Dudes1Dog #SlowShakespeare

PANTINO       For any or for all these exercises He said that Proteus your son was meet, And did request me to importune you To let him spend his time no more at home, Which would be great impeachment to his age In having known no travel in his youth. ANTONIO       Nor need’st thou much importune […]

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What Proteus needs is a GAP YEAR! (1.3.1-10) #2Dudes1Dog #SlowShakespeare

Enter Antonio and Pantino ANTONIO       Tell me, Pantino, what sad talk was that Wherewith my brother held you in the cloister? PANTINO       ’Twas of his nephew Proteus, your son. ANTONIO Why, what of him? PANTINO He wondered that your lordship Would suffer him to spend his youth at home While other men, of slender reputation, […]

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Julia *flounce* Lucetta: you need me on your side… (1.2.131-140) #2Dudes1Dog #SlowShakespeare

[Enter Lucetta] LUCETTA        Madam, dinner is ready, and your father stays. JULIA  Well, let us go. LUCETTA What, shall these papers lie like tell-tales here? JULIA If you respect them, best to take them up. LUCETTA Nay, I was taken up for laying them down. Yet here they shall not lie, for catching cold. JULIA […]

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Julia and Proteus: our names look SO CUTE together! (1.2.118-130) #2Dudes1Dog #SlowShakespeare

JULIA  But twice or thrice was Proteus written down– Be calm, good wind, blow not a word away Till I have found each letter in the letter Except mine own name. That, some whirlwind bear Unto a ragged, fearful, hanging rock And throw it thence into the raging sea. Lo, here in one line is […]

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STAMP on the name of Julia! KISS the name of Proteus (lingeringly) (1.2.110-117) #2Dudes1Dog #SlowShakespeare

JULIA  Look, here is writ ‘Kind Julia’ – unkind Julia! As in revenge of thy ingratitude I throw thy name against the bruising stones, Trampling contemptuously on thy disdain. And here is writ ‘Love-wounded Proteus’. Poor wounded name: my bosom as a bed Shall lodge thee till thy wound be throughly healed, And thus I […]

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Julia *tears up letter* don’t want it/want it aarrrrgghh (1.2.99-109) #2Dudes1Dog #SlowShakespeare

JULIA  This babble shall not henceforth trouble me. Here is a coil with protestation. [She tears the letter] Go, get you gone, and let the papers lie. You would be fing’ring them to anger me. LUCETTA        She makes it strange, but she would be best pleased To be so angered with another letter. [Exit] JULIA […]

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What you need is a TENOR, madam (1.2.90-98) #2Dudes1Dog #SlowShakespeare

LUCETTA        And yet methinks I do not like this tune. JULIA  You do not? LUCETTA No, madam, ’tis too sharp. JULIA You, minion, are too saucy. LUCETTA Nay, now you are too flat, And mar the concord with too harsh a descant. There wanteth but a mean to fill your song. JULIA The mean is […]

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And now some musical jokes (letter still not being read) (1.2.79-89) #2Dudes1Dog #SlowShakespeare

JULIA  Some love of yours hath writ to you in rhyme. LUCETTA        That I might sing it, madam, to a tune, Give me a note; your ladyship can set As little by such toys as may be possible. JULIA Best sing it to the tune of ‘Light o’ Love’. LUCETTA It is too heavy for […]

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Recent Posts

  • MAD TALK from Hamlet (birds, toads, monkeys etc) (3.4.186-194) #InkyCloak #SlowShakespeare
  • Hamlet: stay away from Claudius! don’t let him seduce you! (3.4.178-186) #InkyCloak #SlowShakespeare
  • Hamlet: sorry about the body! I’m on a divine mission, sort of? (3.4.170-178) #InkyCloak #SlowShakespeare
  • Hamlet: stop sleeping with your husband, you’ll soon get used to it! (3.4.163-170) #InkyCloak #SlowShakespeare
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Recent Comments

  1. Hester Lees-Jeffries on Hamlet: my dad died unprepared! I can’t kill my uncle now, no (3.3.80-87) #InkyCloak #SlowShakespeare
  2. Hester Lees-Jeffries on Hamlet: I’m looking at HIM! Gertrude: there’s NOTHING THERE! (3.2.121-131) #InkyCloak #SlowShakespeare
  3. Sunil on Hamlet: my dad died unprepared! I can’t kill my uncle now, no (3.3.80-87) #InkyCloak #SlowShakespeare
  4. Sunil on Hamlet: I’m looking at HIM! Gertrude: there’s NOTHING THERE! (3.2.121-131) #InkyCloak #SlowShakespeare
  5. Hester Lees-Jeffries on Claudius: and I’m still enjoying the wages of my sins! (3.3.51-56) #Inky Cloak #SlowShakespeare