DUKE Beshrew me, sir, but if he make this good He is as worthy for an empress’ love As meet to be an emperor’s counsellor. Well, sir, this gentleman is come to me With commendation from great potentates, And here he means to spend his time awhile. I think ’tis no unwelcome news to you. […]
Continue ReadingProteus is a TOP BLOKE and we’re like *that* says Valentine (2.4.53-66) #2Dudes1Dog #SlowShakespeare
DUKE You know him well? VALENTINE I knew him as myself, for from our infancy We have conversed and spent our hours together, And though myself have been an idle truant, Omitting the sweet benefit of time To clothe mine age with angel-like perfection, Yet hath Sir Proteus (for that’s his name) Made use and […]
Continue ReadingNews from Verona! but who is the messenger? (2.4.41-52) #2Dudes1Dog #SlowShakespeare
DUKE Now, daughter Silvia, you are hard beset. Sir Valentine, your father is in good health, What say you to a letter from your friends Of much good news? VALENTINE My lord, I will be thankful To any happy messenger from thence. DUKE Know ye Don Antonio, your countryman? VALENTINE Ay, my good lord, I […]
Continue ReadingValentine to Thurio: you’re all talk and you can’t even put your money where your mouth is (2.4.29-40) #2Dudes1Dog #SlowShakespeare
SILVIA A fine volley of words, gentlemen, and quickly shot off. VALENTINE ’Tis indeed, madam, we thank the giver. SILVIA Who is that, servant? VALENTINE Yourself, sweet lady, for you gave the fire. Sir Thurio borrows his wit from your ladyship’s looks, and spends what he borrows kindly in your company. THURIO Sir, if you […]
Continue ReadingValentine to Thurio: you are a loser in a stupid jacket (positively Wildean) (2.4.18-28) #2Dudes1Dog #SlowShakespeare
THURIO And how quote you my folly? VALENTINE I quote it in your jerkin. THURIO My jerkin is a doublet. VALENTINE Well then, I’ll double your folly. THURIO How? SILVIA What, angry, Sir Thurio? Do you change colour? VALENTINE Give him leave, madam. He is a kind of chameleon. THURIO That hath more mind to […]
Continue ReadingValentine and Thurio, pointlessly pointscoring (lucky Silvia) (2.4.1-17) #2Dudes1Dog #SlowShakespeare
Enter Valentine, Silvia, Thurio, [and] Speed SILVIA Servant! VALENTINE Mistress. SPEED [to Valentine] Master, Sir Thurio frowns on you. VALENTINE Ay, boy, it’s for love. SPEED Not of you. VALENTINE Of my mistress, then. SPEED ’Twere good you knocked him. SILVIA [to Valentine] Servant, you are sad. VALENTINE Indeed, madam, I seem so. THURIO Seem you […]
Continue ReadingPantino: come ON; Lance: OK; Crab the dog: [ ] (2.3.32-46) #2Dudes1Dog #SlowShakespeare
PANTINO Tut, man, I mean thou’lt lose the flood, and in losing the flood, lose thy voyage, and in losing thy voyage, lose thy master, and in losing thy master, lose thy service, and in losing thy service– [Lance puts up his hand] Why dost thou stop my mouth? LANCE For fear thou shouldst lose thy tongue. […]
Continue ReadingPantino: hurry you’ll miss the boat; Lance: [another dog joke] (2.3.25-31) #2Dudes1Dog #SlowShakespeare
[Enter Pantino] PANTINO Lance, away, away, aboard. Thy master is shipped, and thou art to post after with oars. What’s the matter? Why weep’st thou, man? Away, ass, you’ll lose the tide if you tarry any longer. LANCE It is no matter if the tied were lost, for it is the unkindest tied that ever any man […]
Continue ReadingLance, with his smelly shoes, weeping; Crab the dog, unmoved (2.3.17-24) #2Dudes1Dog #SlowShakespeare
LANCE Now come I to my father: ‘Father, your blessing.’ Now should not the shoe speak a word for weeping. Now should I kiss my father– [He kisses the shoe] Well, he weeps on. Now come I to my mother. O, that she could speak now, like a wold-woman! Well, I kiss her– [He kisses the other […]
Continue ReadingTHE DOG IS HIMSELF (2.3.11-17) #2Dudes1Dog #SlowShakespeare
LANCE This shoe is my father. – No, this left shoe is my father. – No, no, this left shoe is my mother. – Nay, that cannot be so neither. – Yes, it is so, it is so, it hath the worser sole. This shoe with the hole in it is my mother, and this my father. […]
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