Dishcloths? eagles? really? just marry Paris (3.5.218-225)

NURSE            O, he’s a lovely gentleman!                         Romeo’s a dishclout to him. An eagle, madam,                         Hath not so green, so quick, so fair an eye                         As Paris hath. Beshrew my very heart,                         I think you are happy in this second match,                         For it excels your first, or if it did not, […]

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Cut your losses, marry Paris, says the Nurse (3.5.212-217)

NURSE                                    Faith, here it is:                         Romeo is banished, and all the world to nothing                         That he dares ne’er come back to challenge you;                         Or if he do, it needs must be by stealth.                         Then since the case so stands as now it doth,                         I think it best you married with […]

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Comfort and advise me, Nurse! (3.5.204-212)

JULIET                        O God! – O Nurse, how shall this be prevented? My husband is on earth, my faith in heaven; How shall that faith return again to earth, Unless that husband send it me from heaven By leaving earth? Comfort me, counsel me. Alack, alack, that heaven should practise stratagems Upon so soft a subject […]

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No pity? then I’ll die, mother (3.5.196-203)

JULIET                                    Is there no pity sitting in the clouds                                     That sees into the bottom of my grief?                                     O sweet my mother, cast me not away!                                     Delay this marriage for a month, a week,                                     Or if you do not, make the bridal bed                                     In that dim monument where Tybalt lies. LADY […]

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Capulet, done (and, homosociality 101) (3.5.189-195)

CAPULET        Look to’t, think on’t, I do not use to jest.                         Thursday is near, lay hand on heart, advise:                         And you be mine, I’ll give you to my friend;                         And you be not, hang, beg, starve, die in the streets,                         For by my soul, I’ll ne’er acknowledge thee,                         Nor what […]

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Capulet thinks Paris is hot (and is still losing it) (3.5.176-188)

CAPULET        God’s bread, it makes me mad! Day, night, work, play,                         Alone, in company, still my care hath been                         To have her matched; and having now provided                         A gentleman of noble parentage,                         Of fair demesnes, youthful and nobly ligned,                         Stuffed, as they say, with honourable parts,                         Proportioned as one’s […]

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Capulet losing it #4 (3.5.168-175)

NURSE                                    God in heaven bless her!                         You are to blame, my lord, to rate her so. CAPULET        And why, my Lady Wisdom? Hold your tongue,                         Good Prudence, smatter with your gossips, go. NURSE            I speak no treason. CAPULET                                            O God-i-goden! NURSE            May not one speak? CAPULET                                            Peace, you mumbling fool!                         Utter your […]

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Capulet losing it #3 (3.5.163-168)

CAPULET        Speak not, reply not, do not answer me!                         My fingers itch. Wife, we scarce thought us blest                         That God had lent us but this only child,                         But now I see this one is one too much,                         And that we have a curse in having her.                         Out on her, hilding! […]

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Capulet losing it #2 (3.5.157-162)

LADY CAPULET         Fie, fie, what, are you mad? JULIET                        Good father, I beseech you on my knees,                         Hear me with patience but to speak a word.                                     [She kneels down.] CAPULET        Hang thee, young baggage, disobedient wretch!                         I tell thee what: get thee to church a’Thursday,                         Or never after look me in […]

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Capulet losing it #1 (3.5.152-157)

CAPULET        Thank me no thankings, nor proud me no prouds,                         But fettle your fine joints ’gainst Thursday next,                         To go with Paris to Saint Peter’s Church,                         Or I will drag thee on a hurdle thither.                         Out, you green-sickness carrion! out, you baggage!                   […]

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