LYSANDER Stay, gentle Helena; hear my excuse,
My love, my life, my soul, fair Helena.
HELENA O excellent!
HERMIA [to Lysander] Sweet, do not scorn her so.
DEMETRIUS [to Lysander] If she cannot entreat, I can compel.
LYSANDER Thou canst compel no more than she entreat.
Thy threats have no more strength than her weak prayers.
Helen, I love thee, by my life I do.
I swear by that which I will lose for thee
To prove him false that says I love thee not. (3.2.245-253)
Lysander can’t remain silent, can’t leave it up to the women to sort it out (not that Helena’s in any mood to compromise, or listen): stay, gentle Helena; hear my excuse, my love, my life, my soul, fair Helena. Don’t go! Let me explain: I LOVE YOU more than ANYTHING or ANYONE, you’re AMAZING. Great, here we go again, mutters Helena, O excellent, he’s like a leg-humping puppy that won’t be told. Hermia, though, seems to have been convinced by at least some of Helena’s interpretation, and can see that her distress is genuine: sweet, do not scorn her so, you’re not being very nice, mocking her like this, are you, darling? Demetrius muscles in: if she cannot entreat, I can compel; if you won’t do what your actual or perhaps soi-disant GIRLFRIEND is asking you to do, asking nicely I might add, then I’ll MAKE you stop talking to Helena like that. Lysander’s unstoppable though (these drugs are potent): thou canst compel no more than she entreat, neither of you can do anything to stop me declaring my undying LOVE to Helena, either by force or pretty pleases, and thy threats—Demetrius’s—have no more strength than her—Hermia’s—weak prayers. I’m unstoppable, get out of my way the both of you, because Helen, I love thee, by my life I do. I do! I swear by—everything! I swear by that which I will lose for thee—my life—to prove him false that says I love thee not. I’d DIE for you, and DIE to prove my own truth and honour in my vehement protestations of TRUE LOVE!
Lysander is absolutely exhausting… and increasingly, the women don’t get a word in edgewise, as the two men start to square up to each other.
