HAMLET         Give us the foils.

LAERTES                    Come, one for me.

HAMLET         I’ll be your foil, Laertes. In mine ignorance

Your skill shall like a star i’th’ darkest night

Stick fiery off indeed.

LAERTES                    You mock me, sir.

HAMLET         No, by this hand.

CLAUDIUS      Give them the foils, young Osric. Cousin Hamlet,

You know the wager.

HAMLET         Very well, my lord.

Your grace has laid the odds o’th’ weaker side.

CLAUDIUS      I do not fear it. I have seen you both

But since he is better we have therefore odds.      (5.2.231-240)

Then suddenly it’s down to business: give us the foils; there will be a rack of them, enough for there to be a choice (and for Laertes to take the one that’s unbated, still with a deadly killing point). Come, one for me, Laertes adds; this is a risky moment, when Hamlet could spot the unbated foil, or even take it by mistake. But Hamlet’s distracted by the possibility of a quibble, can’t resist it, even in these pressured circumstances: oh, I’ll be your foil, Laertes. I’ll enable you to show off in the best possible way, highlight your abilities and virtues, like the setting of a jewel! In mine ignorance—unskilful as I am, relatively speaking—your skill shall like a start i’th’ darkest night stick fiery off indeed. You’re an absolute diamond, a fencing star! I’ll just enable you to shine brighter by comparison! Laertes is a bit nonplussed by this, is Hamlet taking the piss? (Yes and no, it’s a genuine compliment too.) You mock me, sir. No, by this hand—not at all, promise, swear it! It’s Claudius who’s most anxious to keep things moving along, enough banter: give them the foils, young Osric. Come on, let’s do this! Jocular, encouraging. Cousin Hamlet, you know the wager? He’s not even trying the son thing, never mind the scansion; he needs to keep Hamlet focused on the fencing rather than having another argument—but he also needs to know that Hamlet understands how this is going to work, the terms of the competition. Very well, my lord. Polite, not engaging, and the wager isn’t really the point, is it? Perhaps Hamlet thinks that this has mostly been set up so that Laertes can humiliate him? But he’s conciliatory: your grace has laid the odds o’th’ weaker side. He’s better than me, you know? Oh no no no, dear boy, Claudius protests, I do not fear it, I have seen you both but since he is better we have therefore odds. Yes, he’s perhaps got a bit of an edge but the odds reflect that! It’s all been very, very carefully thought through.