Hermia to Helena: are you calling me SHORT, you SMIRKING GIRAFFE?! (3.2.289-98) #MoonMad #SlowShakespeare

HERMIA         Puppet? Why so? Aye, that way goes the game.

Now I perceive that she hath made compare

Between our statures: she hath urged her height,

And with her personage, her tall personage,

Her height, forsooth, she hath prevailed with him.

And are you grown so high in his esteem

Because I am so dwarfish and so low?

How low am I, thou painted maypole? Speak,

How low am I? I am not yet so low

But that my nails can reach unto thine eyes.          (3.2.289-298)

It would be easy to say that the gloves are now completely off between Hermia and Helena, but it’s perhaps more as if a series of explosions has been set off—and it’s notable that both women have shifted into blank verse from the rhyming couplets which have so often, previously, been their usual medium. A LOT of pent up big feelings are coming out… Puppet? Why so? why that, in particular? It’s a rhetorical question, probably, dripping with sarcasm, and initially Hermia’s not even addressing Helena directly, she’s so enraged. Aye, that way goes the game; that’s what we’re doing now, is it? She started it! Now I perceive that she hath made compare between our statures—she’s comparing our relative heights by calling me puppet!—she hath urged her height, and with her personage, her tall personage, her height, forsooth, she hath prevailed with him. Clearly she’s been whispering in Lysander’s ear, saying that she’s taller than me, more—statuesque??—better than me. Much deep-seated insecurity, anxiety, bullying, even, is being performed here. Then she rounds on Helena directly: and are you grown so high in his esteem because I am so dwarfish and so low? Is that it, you’ve been telling him that I’m a—midget? How low am I, thou painted maypole? Go on, tell me, you—ungainly giraffe (and painted could suggest cosmetics, or garishness; forwardness, sexual availability)—Speak, how low am I? Come on, I’m waiting, tell me, I’m ALL ears. (Little, pointy ears, delicate, shell-like.) But, be warned, I am not yet so low but that my nails can reach unto thine eyes. This puppet can fight!

View 2 comments on “Hermia to Helena: are you calling me SHORT, you SMIRKING GIRAFFE?! (3.2.289-98) #MoonMad #SlowShakespeare

  1. With ‘tall personage’ I sense that Hermia is also accusing Helena of having a superior attitude and dramatising it with a kind of la de dah mocking tone and walk.

    ‘Painted maypole’
    More evidence that Helena followed Demetrius to the wood wearing full on makeup, slinky dress and high heels, whereas Hermia kitted herself out at Mountain Warehouse straight after she agreed to Lysander’s plan.

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