CALIBAN        And that most deeply to consider is

The beauty of his daughter; he himself

Calls her a nonpareil. I never saw a woman

But only Sycorax my dam, and she;

But she as far surpasseth Sycorax

As great’st does least.

STEPHANO                                        Is it so brave a lass?

CALIBAN        Ay, lord, she will become thy bed, I warrant,

And bring thee forth brave brood.

STEPHANO    Monster, I will kill this man. His daughter and I will be king and queen – save our graces – and Trinculo and thyself shall be viceroys. Dost thou like the plot, Trinculo?

TRINCULO      Excellent.

STEPHANO    Give me thy hand. I am sorry I beat thee, but while thou livest, keep a good tongue in thy head. (3.2.98-112)

Never mind the books and the utensils: the most important thing, the greatest incentive for Stephano to kill Prospero (and only now mentioned by Caliban, cunning again) is the beauty of his daughter, Miranda. Even her father calls her a nonpareil, unequalled, unparalleled, a wonder. (Miranda.) (Fuel for those who want to detect the hint of an incestuous dynamic in the relationship between Prospero and Miranda. I really don’t think it has to be like that. He loves his daughter and thinks that she’s beautiful and fabulous. On the evidence of the play thus far, and not least Ferdinand’s infatuation, this is entirely true.) And then Caliban shows a flash of logic: mind you, the only other woman I ever saw was my mother Sycorax and, well. (Prospero described her as a foul witch, a hag, grown into a hoop with age and envy.) But, on balance, Miranda is still pretty stunning. This piques Stephano’s interest: is it so brave a lass? A very different register here to the nonpareil, and Caliban’s beautifully balanced lines – and Caliban immediately recalibrates, with a nudge and a wink: Ay, lord, she will become thy bed, and bring thee forth brave brood. Sexy and fertile, and plosively, alliteratively so. This is the clincher for Stephano: Monster, I will kill this man. It’s all decided. She and I will be king and queen; you and Trinculo can be my deputies. What do you think of this, Trinculo? Clever or what? (It’s not really a plot, though, is it? Battering someone to death with a log while he’s asleep…) Excellent, says Trinculo, probably sulkily, possibly sarcastically. Go you. Stephano is apologetic? magnanimous, certainly, as befits a soon-to-be-monarch. Friends? I am sorry I beat thee, but, watch what you say from now on, and mind your language.