DUKE  But hark thee: I will go to her alone.

How shall I best convey the ladder thither?

VALENTINE    It will be light, my lord, that you may bear it

Under a cloak that is of any length.

DUKE A cloak as long as thine will serve the turn?

VALENTINE Ay, my good lord.

DUKE Then let me see thy cloak,

I’ll get me one of such another length.

VALENTINE Why, any cloak will serve the turn, my lord.

DUKE How shall I fashion me to wear a cloak?

I pray thee, let me feel thy cloak upon me.

[He lifts Valentine’s cloak and discovers a rope ladder and a letter]            (3.1.126-136)

 

But hark thee: I will go to her alone. Obviously I won’t be taking anyone with me, no attendant, and certainly not you. How shall I best convey the ladder thither? How will I be able to carry it discreetly, do you think, without anyone to carry it for me? (Does Valentine become even more uncomfortable at this, or is the comedy better if he blunders on, being helpful, always on the point of revealing himself?) Well, don’t worry about that, he replies, it will be light, my lord, that you may bear it under a cloak that is of any length. It’ll be lightweight enough that you’ll be able to conceal it under a cloak, and not even a bulky one, even quite a short cloak actually. Oh, like this one then? asks the Duke, like the one you’re wearing right now? Are you saying that a cloak as long as thine will serve the turn? That’ll suffice, will it, to conceal a rope ladder? Ay, my good lord, says the hapless Valentine, who surely is starting to realise that something’s up. Absolutely. Then let me see thy cloak—can I have a proper look then? Because, says the Duke, I’ll get me one of such another length. One just like this, once I’ve examined it a bit more closely, just to make sure. Really, in all honesty, replies Valentine, it wouldn’t have to be an exact copy of this one I’m wearing, actually, why, any cloak will serve the turn, my lord. Any cloak will do! Sir! Oh but how shall I fashion me to wear a cloak? I need to work out how to drape it, so as to carry it off to best advantage, presses the Duke, really keeping Valentine dangling, knowing the game’s almost certainly up, but still hanging on and not wanting to confess, hoping that he might still get away with it? I pray thee, let me feel thy cloak upon me. Can I borrow yours for a minute, just to get the feel of it, see how it’s going to work?

Ah. Ah. Arrrgggghhh.