THESEUS I wonder if the lion be to speak.
DEMETRIUS No wonder, my lord. One lion may, when many asses do.
SNOUT In this same interlude it doth befall
That I, one Snout by name, present a Wall;
And such a Wall, as I would have you think,
That had in it a crannied hole or chink,
Through which the lovers Pyramus and Thisbe
Did whisper often, very secretly.
This loam, this roughcast and this stone doth show
That I am that same Wall: the truth is so.
And this the cranny is, right and sinister,
Through which the fearful lovers are to whisper.
THESEUS Would you desire lime and hair to speak better?
DEMETRIUS It is the wittiest partition that ever I heard discourse, my lord. (5.1.151-167)
More running commentary; Theseus’s question is reasonable—I wonder if the lion be to speak? (and the audience knows the answer, NO, all he has to do is ROAR, EXTEMPORE), but it’s Demetrius, this time, who seizes the opportunity for a bit of point-scoring witticism: no wonder, my lord—it wouldn’t be at all surprising if the lion were to speak; after all, one lion may, when many asses do. He’s probably being rude about the actors, although there’s a chance that it’s a dig at Lysander. Shhhhh, have you finished? Snout has something to say; he knows it’s a bit silly, but it’s his job and he’d like to be able to do it, thank you very much.
In this same interlude it doth befall that I, one Snout by name, present a Wall. I am Snout! I play the Wall! And such a Wall, as I would have you think, that had in it a crannied hole or chink—a hole in the wall!—through which the lovers Pyramus and Thisbe did whisper often, very secretly. Yes, they did. Secretly. Through the HOLE in the WALL. This loam, this roughcast and this stone doth show that I am that same Wall, the truth is so, Peter Quince, I’ve said all that already, they KNOW I’m the WALL? Oh alright, alright, I’m doing it, and this the cranny is, right and sinister, HERE, SEE? Through which the fearful lovers are to whisper. Got it? I’m DONE.
Would you desire lime and hair could speak better? Did you ever hear a more eloquent wall? And Demetrius has the perfect come-back: it is the wittiest partition (section of an argument; possibly petition, too) that ever I heard discourse, my lord. A very witty wall indeed. Boom.
