2 MAN Nay, but hear you, goodman delver.

GRAVEDIGGER           Give me leave. Here lies the water – good. Here stands the man – good. If the man go to this water and drown himself, it is, willy-nilly, he goes. Mark you that. But if the water come to him and drown him, he drowns not himself. Argal, he that is not guilty of his own death shortens not his own life.

2 MAN But is this law?

GRAVEDIGGER           Ay, marry is’t. Crowner’s ’quest law. (5.1.14-22)

One of the mad pleasures of this scene is its attentiveness to how people—men—talk to each other, establishing personality, hierarchy, relationship in the matter of a moment. The younger man is anxious, but also curious; the older is confident, more experienced, accustomed to holding forth, logical, expansive, theatrical; bit of the pub bore, but no malice in him.

Nay, but hear you, goodman delver; he’s being polite, calling the gravedigger goodman, look, listen, please. The gravedigger’s having none of it, pulls rank, with a touch of pomposity. Give me leave; no, you listen to me, I haven’t finished yet. Here lies the water—good. Got that? A gesture, look, that’s the water, there. (All of this is made the more surreal because he is standing in a grave…) Here stands the man—good. Yes? Are you with me? There may be props, shovel, thermos flask, jumper, packed lunch. If the man go to this water (picking up the thermos, taking it over to the sandwiches) and drown himself, it is, willy-nilly, he goes. It’s his action; he is the agent. Willy-nilly, will-he, nil-he, foregrounds the question of will, volition. (Velle, nolle, he wishes, he does not wish, in Latin, as many in the audience would know.) Mark you that. Take note; are you with me? got that? Good.

But if the water come to him (sandwiches to thermos) and drown him, he drowns not himself. It’s not his fault, or his decision, or his action. Argal—brought out with a legal flourish, ergo, and therefore, my learned friend—he that is not guilty of his own death shortens not his own life. If he didn’t do it he couldn’t have done it.

But is this law? The gravedigger’s mate is allowed to be suspicious, but also baffled, he can tell there’s something specious in the reasoning but he can’t quite put his finger on it, and he’s accustomed to deferring, besides, the gravedigger is so confident, and he’s got all the right words. (He can also be incredulous: is this law?) Ay, marry is’t. Totally, for sure. Crowner’s ’quest law—and the malapropism (coroner’s inquest law) confirms that a tiny bit of learning can be a very dangerous thing.