THESEUS        ‘The thrice three Muses mourning for the death

Of learning, late deceased in beggary’?

That is some satire keen and critical,

Not sorting with a nuptial ceremony.

‘A tedious brief scene of young Pyramus

And his love Thisbe; very tragical mirth’?

Merry and tragical? Tedious and brief?

That is hot ice and wondrous swarthy snow.

How shall we find the concord of this discord?      (5.1.52-60)

The entertainment options continue to be rehearsed, and it’s not sounding promising: ‘The thrice three Muses mourning for the death of learning, late deceased in beggary’? That doesn’t sound very festive, nine grumpy academic women having a whinge about how higher education is in crisis… Oh wait. That is a satire keen and critical, not sorting with a nuptial ceremony: Theseus thinks it’s going to be too bitter, too sharp, too POLITICAL, not at all the sort of thing you want as a warm-up on your wedding night. (Theseus, mate, it’s not satire, it’s REAL LIFE.) However. One option remains, ‘A tedious brief scene of young Pyramus and his love Thisbe; very tragical mirth’? Oh, this is very Peter Quince, hitting all the right marketing notes, just not necessarily in the right order. Theseus is baffled/intrigued: merry and tragical? tedious and brief? I do not think those mean what you think they mean. How can it be at once long and short, hilarious and devastating? (That’s LIVE THEATRE for you!) That is hot ice and wondrous swarthy snow; it’s an actual oxymoron in dramatic form! (Shakespeare’s been thinking about oxymoron, in Romeo and Juliet…) And it’s a story from Ovid! How shall we find the concord of this discord? How shall all these apparently contradictory things be reconciled and brought into harmony? (But this whole play has been about reconciliation, and such a theme is entirely appropriate for a wedding celebration.)