THESEUS I will hear that play;
For never anything can be amiss
When simpleness and duty tender it.
Go bring them in, and take your places, ladies.
[Exit Philostrate.]
HIPPOLYTA I love not to see wretchedness o’ercharged,
And duty in his service perishing.
THESEUS Why, gentle sweet, you shall see no such thing.
HIPPOLYTA He says they can do nothing in this kind.
THESEUS The kinder we, to give them thanks for nothing.
Our sport shall be to take what they mistake.
And what poor duty cannot do,
Noble respect takes it in might, not merit. (5.1.81-92)
I’m adamant, says Theseus, I will hear that play. My mind’s made up, no point trying to convince me otherwise. For never anything can be amiss when simpleness and duty tender it. They’re clearly so well meaning, so artless, so utterly without pretence: what could possibly go wrong? There’s no ulterior motive here. Go bring them in, and take your places, ladies. Off trots Philostrate, all too aware that his impresario credentials are already in tatters, and it may be able to get worse.
Hippolyta is apprehensive: I love not to see wretchedness o’ercharged, and duty in his service perishing. We’re not just going to laugh at them, are we? It’s not funny, it’s not nice to laugh at people when they’re completely out of their depth, when they’re doing their best and only trying to please. I think this is going to be a disaster, REALLY awkward and uncomfortable. Why, gentle sweet, you shall see no such thing: it’s all going to be fine, reassures Theseus. No one’s going to get hurt or mocked. (Hmmmm.) But he—Philostrate—says they can do nothing in this kind, remonstrates Hippolyta. He says they’re absolutely hopeless! The kinder we, to give them thanks for nothing. We’ll be nice, we’ll humour them, make them feel appreciated! Don’t worry! Our sport shall be to take what they mistake; we’ll accept it in the spirit that it’s meant, even if it’s awful. (Or, we’ll just laugh at everything that goes wrong…) And what poor duty cannot do, noble respect takes it in might, not merit. All of their deficiencies, we’ll respond to with gracious magnanimity. They just want to do something nice for our wedding! Let’s accept their gift!
